After freedom rang on the 4th of July, a few gun shots followed suit. And my usually optimistic self couldn’t find it, and I was paralyzed for a bit and couldn’t really function. I thought about my purpose and was paralyzed, and for those few days I stared at that purpose from across the room, wondering if it even mattered…wondering if EYE even mattered. (Thanks to those friends who rallied around.) A few more unearthing events followed and my heart continued to ache and just…sit. Is this how it was supposed to be? (And I’m not talking about “what our founding fathers intended. Eff the founding fathers because they were purposeful bunch of good-intentioned mess balls. Is this (the current state of our global union) how it was supposed to be overall? Something deep within the gut of who I am as I sat staring at my currently unoccupied purpose whispered “no.” It tugged at my heart and said, “Shades of skin were never meant to be markers to indicate superiority or inferiority.” Not so suddenly, I realized something. Even though my hope in the greater and best version of humanity had melted into a pile of defeat…
My purpose did not change.
(Your purpose did not change.)
Somehow I managed to wiggle into that thought. Actually, “thought” is the wrong word. Lie. Yeah. Lie is more suitable. I wriggled into the lie that my purpose had been diminished because of another person not walking in/recognizing theirs. My mama would say, “What that got ta do with you?!” In fact the only thing a purpose can do is grow more intense and more specific.
The other day I had a conversation with a super light in my life and she said, “I’m so much more conscious of my blackness,” to which I replied, “I’ve thought about the fact that I wouldn’t wish my blackness on anyone.”
We all have both a general purpose and a specific purpose. That general purpose involves taking care of one another. Being examples of love and light and hope and peace…contributing to the comprehensive growth and development of the world at large. Then there’s that specific purpose. The one that harbors specificity. The one that take some soul work. Process. Sacrifice. Saying that you were wrong. Stepping outside of a comfort zone. Humbling the ego. Pushing past the feelings and emotion and producing. THAT’S the one from which we tend to cower…like I did. For whatever reason.
“It’s too hard.”
“I’m at a disadvantage.”
And we get distracted…
“The dress is gold.”
“That gorilla didn’t deserve to die.”
And miss the point…
“Black Lives Matter”
“No. ALL lives matter…but Blue lives matter.”
Meanwhile our ultimates sit on a shelf. Unused or postponed. Can I get real with you? We will never have world peace. As much as we want it,it won’t happen. Call me a cynic. Call me a pessimist. But I’m telling you as sure as the sun rises, there will always be people who will war against the ensuing unification of this human race. Yes. It’s true that we COULD have world peace. Everyone could — at the same time — decide to embrace one another. But they won’t. I don’t say that as discouragement. I say that so that we — you and I — can prepare our hearts to hold fast to that specific purpose in the face of all of it.
Ugly’s gonna come, but your purpose does not change.
Hate will sit right next to you, but your purpose does not change.
The person that you want LEAST will get the presidency, but your purpose does not change.
People will hate gays and discredit their love , but your purpose does not change.
You could find out that your friends like to debate with you and tell you that you’re a closed-off, closed-minded sell-out because you’re choosing to walk in your purpose or NOT choosing to take a side, your purpose. doesn’t. change.
…and if you don’t know your purpose, grab ahold first to the fact that you DO have one. And know that it’s not small or insignificant. And know that even though you can give it away, it cannot be taken away. Dig in. Chin up. Boot straps pulled. Armor on.
Your purpose is waiting and, for the record, it does not change.